Friday, April 13, 2007

120 B final

Here's my 120 B final... the first in a series of Mario Bros. shorts...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


Android Short

too bad these online video things aren't better quality...

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Year in Review Part ONE

In terms of films, 2006 turned out to be quite a surprise. I saw 100 films released over the past year and it has to be the best year, cinematically speaking, since American Beauty, Fight Club, and The Sixth Sense were released in 1999.
After a string of semi-dull years, 2006 bumped it up a notch, thanks in part to the trifecta of modern Mexican filmmakers (Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo del Toro, and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu).
Anyway, more of the coolness of 2006 later on… let’s focus on the stinkers of 2006- save the best for last, no?

Worst Supporting Actress:
Halle Berry, X-Men: The Last Stand
-I was close to removing her from this list due to the fact that she made it for the first two X-Men films… but she’s so awful in this role that it’s embarrassing. Why must she subject us to this weak, girly portrayal of what could have been an awesome superhero?

Jessica Simpson, Employee of the Month
-As much as I love her, I’ll be the first to admit that she has absolutely no screen presence. She is so dull (or as Variety put it, “blah”) in this role that even I was tired of her. Please stop acting Jessica.

Hilary Swank, The Black Dahlia
-Many of you are probably already aware of my hatred toward “la Skank,” but I’m always willing to forgive and forget. However, she is so ridiculously over the top in this nifty neo-noir, that I cannot say she has redeemed herself quite yet.

LOSER: Tie, Halle Berry and Jessica Simpson aka Big-boobied hoes

Worst Supporting Actor:
Jack Black, The Holiday
-No explanation necessary.

Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
-Even worse than he was in the first Pirates outing, Bloom is laughable at best here. I’m afraid he has nothing to offer American cinema and we should probably banish him to the same wasteland inhabited by those like Jessica Alba and Keanu Reeves.

Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond
-Not necessarily the WORST performance, but totally miscast. His testosterone-packed mannerisms and physique don’t really fit the part of a poor fisherman. He’s always been a scenery-chewer, but those crying scenes… ugh.

LOSER: Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Worst Actress:
Jennifer Aniston, The Break-Up
-Team Jolie fo’ sho.

Kate Bosworth, Superman Returns
-I really liked this movie, but Bosworth has nothing more than sweetness to add to any role. And Lois Lane is NOT sweet. And, um, we’re supposed to believe that she is intelligent. Where was Keri Russell when we needed her?

Lindsay Lohan, Just My Luck
-Possibly not her fault as she may have been wasted through the whole movie. Hell, I wish I had been.

LOSER: Kate Bosworth, Superman Returns

Worst Actor:
Christian Bale, Harsh Times
-Both the performance and the movie are absolutely terrible. It’s like Eminem tried to create a version of Training Day. Bale just does not pull of the whole gangsta thing. But his performance makes one hell of a comedic portrayal.

Jamie Foxx, Dreamgirls
-Not attractive and he can’t sing. I’ve heard him sing before and thought he’d be alright in this, but wow, they should have cut out his two short songs and developed the female characters a little bit more. You know it’s bad when you’re watching someone act alongside Beyonce and begin to think that she’s pretty good.

Jesse Metcalfe, John Tucker Must Die
-He looks like some kind of man-child with crazy waxed eyebrows. Creepy.

LOSER: Christian Bale, Harsh Times

Most Overrated Film:
-Funny, sure, but I’m so tired of everyone talking about it. It’s just silly fun.

-Songs are good, but it’s kind of a mess. Let’s face it. And the lip-syncing is a little distracting. Feels totally rushed.

Inside Man
-I’m pretty sure it’s a 2 hour plus heist movie with no conclusion and an obnoxious Denzel Washington.

LOSER: Borat

Worst Picture:
All the King’s Men
-Dull, uninteresting remake.

The Break-Up
-Completely one-sided account of a break up. Painful.


Employee of the Month

The Grudge 2

Harsh Times
-Same shit over and over. This movie should have never gotten any kind of distribution. It’s like a Michael Berlin selection (10th and Wolf).

Over the Hedge
-Tired of these talking animal CG kiddie flicks. I almost laughed once.

Silent Hill

Take the Lead
-Antonio Banderas almost made my worst actor list, but I get such a kick out of him.

X-Men: The Last Stand
-Brett Ratner and the writers should be murdered. The end. No, really though. All of a sudden Wolverine is preachy, Storm becomes a mom… way too many liberties were taken in terms of both character and plot. I wanted to die.

LOSER: X-Men: The Last Stand

So, coming up soon…. THE BEST OF 2006!!!!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Here's my spoof/homage to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." So yeah, have fun w/ Communist paranoia and uhh, lemme know what you think.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Starting Soon!

I'm gonna get going on this soon, starting with the online premiere of "Fleaver."